Car Stealing Made Easy

Another interesting and informative day in the classroom.  I now have the necessary skills and knowledge to steal diesel cars.  Well that’s not completely true.  I now have the necessary skills and knowledge to steal a diesel car, so long as it’s not locked, doesn’t have an immobilizer/alarm fitted and I have in my possession a short piece of wire made of a conductive material.  It would also make my task more achievable if the engine was mounted on a table and I was able to locate and have easy access to the solenoids associated with the glow-plugs and starter motor - apart from that, it’s a piece of cake!  I did come away from my 2 day introductory course to boat electrics a little worried that in the same building a large number of young men (I will give them the benefit of doubt on this as to me they all looked 12 years old or younger.) were being taught these very  same skills, only to a deeper level.  I hope they manage to complete their training and find regular employment as an outlet for these new found skills and don’t just come away armed with the necessary knowledge to boost the local crime statistics.

It was, however, heart warming to see these men engrossed in the process of developing a variety of skills.  In one corner of the workshop was a collection of engines that the instructors would dismantle and vandalize, instructing the students to bring them back into working order and in another area was a collection of wooden boats about  4 ft in length, each lovingly hand-built using traditional methods and individually finished with a figure head on the bow.  If only they had built them a little longer and wider then they would have made fine tenders for yachts, but as our instructor pointed out “if we sold them and one sunk, the training centre would be sued.”  Good point, but I did think their actual destiny to become garden ornaments is a waste of such fine handicraft.

Whilst I do not intend to rewire any yacht I own in the future, the course has been a useful addition to my ‘yachty’ knowledge.  Next time I am looking around a possible purchase I will be able look behind the various breaker and switch panels and nod knowingly, being aware of the different wiring colour-coding systems, the varieties of plastic joining-blocks and cable ends and be able to pass comment upon their adherence to Herr Ohm’s taming formula.  Hopefully, tomorrow’s blog will have more of a sporting theme.

Is it Red-Nose Day today?